Im happy but there is a heavy feeling of sadness in my heart that I just can't remove. Why am I like this?

Without resistance, sadness has a sense of beauty and depth I cannot find otherwise in life.

For much of my adult life, I interpreted this sadness as something being wrong - with either myself or my life in general.

I was tired of fighting.

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What I am trying to say is that when you stop trying to change yourself into something you are not, you give yourself the gift of discovering yourself as you already are.

Your job is not to be the manager of your life, but the one who discovers yourself fully.

It’s impossible to overstate the freedom and peace I discovered, and I realized the only one who had been keeping those from me was… me and my imagined standards and expectations for how I had imagined I should be.

Are democrats inherently stupid or just lazy? They can Google " Ohio is investigating reports by residents that migrants are eating the local wildlife " why can't they seem to do the most simple things? Blind, ignorant, stupid or obtuse?

It’s still here.

So if you are sad - like me - then be sad.

But no matter what I read or practiced, I could never make the sadness budge for longer than a few fleeting moments - and even then, it was likely due to me being distracted from the sensation of sadness rather than anything actually shifting.

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It wasn’t until about 10 years ago that I finally fell out of that ferris wheel of trying and failing to fix myself.

It’s here now, writing to you.

Needless to say, my failed attempts to fix my sadness simply brought me more pain and suffering.

What do you think will be the biggest factor in determining whether Daniel Penny was justified in believing that Jordan Neely had posed a deadly threat in the manslaughter trial?

In the absence of a should, I was free to be as I am.

What most people don’t know unless they’ve looked more closely is that there is also an element of deep, profound sadness that has always been with me since as long as I can remember.

And the sadness?

Why are Democrats at Q so desperate that they keep taking down my links to comments that prove the residents in Ohio have been filing complaints about the Haitians eating the local wildlife from ponds in the local parks? Election interference

You are like me, then.

Be who you already are.

I had run out of hope.

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So I finally threw my hands up and said something to the tune of “fuck it, since I can't seem to change, I’ll just be whatever I am then.”

It’s difficult to put into words exactly what caused what, but to the best of my ability to describe it, I felt as if my will to keep fighting was beaten right out of me.

The sadness was still there.

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But unlike before, there is no more resistance to the sadness.

I was tired of trying and failing.

When I stopped trying to force myself to be something I am not, I gave myself the freedom of being who I am.

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You are the masterpiece you came here to discover.

This interpretation lead me on a path of self improvement, to fix what I considered to be “wrong” with myself.

Now, this may sound like a story of failure and giving up, but it’s actually a story of liberation.

If Jesus was crucified by Governor Pontius Pilate, why does the Quran deny his death?

Most people that know me would probably describe me as a social, happy, and somewhat quirky person with a twisted sense of humor.

It’s the most beautiful and liberating thing in the world.